In fact, it's actually very nicely filmed, and the music -- part classic opera, part original soundtrack by Ennio Morricone -- is excellent. The use of colors might not be as crazy as, say, Suspiria, but there are subtle touches throughout, and many scenes have a deeply saturated look. Overall it's technically quite excellent.

The problem, really, comes down to the story. It might be that the source material doesn't appeal to me -- I've never read the actual story or seen any of the many adaptations -- or it might be the heavy re-imagination is what pulls it all down. The phantom here isn't disfigured, but raised by rats. Not a superbly imaginative plot point, and definitely one that gives us much sympathy for the titular character.

The phantom isn't helped much by Julian Sands' portrayal either. He runs through the movie looking bored, possibly questioning why he had to do this movie instead of the Lloyd Webber musical. Asia Argento, meanwhile, puts in another strong performance, as does Argento regular Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni.

Overall the movie is sorta dull, but pretty to watch if nothing else. Not a classic, but very watchable.

1. Inferno
2. The Stendhal Syndrome
3. Suspiria
4. Deep Red
5. Tenebre
6. Opera
7. Four Flies on Grey Velvet
8. The Cat o’Nine Tails
9. The Bird with the Crystal Plumage
10. Phenomena
11. Trauma
12. The Phantom of the Opera
13. Two Evil Eyes

Next: Non Ho Sonno.

The New York Ripper might be the one giallo from Fulci I have issues with, though.

It's too bad, because the core of the movie is excellent. A maniac killer terrorizing women in NYC, making strange calls in a duck-like voice to the police inspector on the case... It has the making of a classic giallo.

Now while I don't think Fulci hates women or anything, I can't help but feel that The New York Ripper is a misogynous movie. Particularly one female character's journey through the seedier part of New York City with a rather predictable ending... The mix of sex and violence -- both extremely graphic -- is cringe worthy, and it happens with an alarming frequency.

Again. This is too bad. When the questionable content takes a backseat there actually is a really interesting movie here. 

In terms of Fulci's movies, I'd strongly recommend The Death Trilogy, Zombie 2 (more about that one later), and the excellent political thriller Don't Torture a Duckling. The New York Ripper... There's a good movie in there if you can sit through the less awesome parts.

As any Better Taster will tell you, Yacht Rock isn't just a form of music, oh no no no, it's a way of life! And you could be living it. As you should! Here are a few pointers:

The soundtrack of your summer: Anything Michael McDonald has ever touched, of course, is a must. But after careful evaluation, The Sons of Spokane has designated two additional sub genres of Yacht Rock: EuroYacht and PostYacht.

PostYacht only makes sense. Here you get more current bands making music pretty much in the identical manner of Yacht Rock. Todd Fancey (recording simply under Fancey) is definitely the son of Michael McDonald, but there are also strong entries from The Heavy Blinkers.

Now there are also bands that add a bit of modern edge to it: Who hasn't want to soft rock out to Washed Out on their yacht?!

EuroYacht, meanwhile, is just what it says. Imagine the many great European artists, particularly during the 80s, who took McDonald's sensibilities and applied their synthesizers to them... Erasure, Duran Duran (remember, they like sailboats even), Joe Jackson... Modern Talking?! 

The dresscode: The v-neck shirt is your go-to friend here. And it's time to dig out some linen pants, particularly the ones with a drawstring. Boat shoes are highly recommended, or you can, like I have chosen, go more modern with some Sanuks. A captain hat pretty much means you are in!

For the fancier occasions I would recommend white linen pants, a blue blazer, v-neck shirt (possibly striped), an ascot, and a captain's hat. 

I would regard anyone who doesn't find this style acceptable with the utmost suspicion.

(For more, refer to the photo above.)

The drink: Campari and soda. Negroni. Americano cocktail. Anything with Campari, basically. 

... and all of this is a good beginning, I think. You could, and should, add your individual twist to this, of course. Just ask yourself: "Would this fit on a yacht?" If the answer is "yes," then you're good to go.

In some sense I suppose The Stendhal Syndrome (1996, original title: La sindrome di Stendhal) could be placed in the genre, but then again, not really. This is the oddest movie Argento has ever made. It's a thriller, I suppose: Asia Argento's character is a cop chasing a serial rapist who then becomes a victim herself. The title refers to an actual illness that can cause hallucinations when an individual is exposed to art. In this case, Asia actually enters the artwork

As you can imagine, the two plot points intertwine to an extremely interesting story. And the filming is quite extraordinary: Here Argento marries his latter day realistic shots with the crazy colors he used in his heyday. It creates a striking contrast, one that makes this movie truly surreal.

Ennio Morricone is back, scoring his first Argento movie since 1971's Four Flies on Grey Velvet. Much as I like Goblin -- and I do -- I can't help but feel that Morricone was the right choice for this film. The score fits the somber mood perfectly.

And, like in Trauma before it, Asia delivers a great performance. Astounding even. It's an incredibly challenging role, one that requires her character to go through multiple transformations, and she nails it.

The fans are largely split on The Stendhal Syndrome. That makes sense. It is a very different movie from Argento's previous work, and definitely a challenging movie to watch. I think it's an amazing piece of work, both technically and artistically.

1. Inferno
2. The Stendhal Syndrome
3. Suspiria
4. Deep Red
5. Tenebre
6. Opera
7. Four Flies on Grey Velvet
8. The Cat o’Nine Tails
9. The Bird with the Crystal Plumage
10. Phenomena
11. Trauma
12. Two Evil Eyes

Next up: The Phantom of the Opera. God help us all...

Thing is, this was the first, and sadly not last, to make Argento a breakthrough director in the US. Hence why the American producers tried to Americanize the movie as much as possible. Really, that just doesn't work. Italian movies and American movies are about as different as they can be and the mix just kind of makes everything a mess here.

There are scenes that are pointless and a host of American actors -- including Twin Peaks' Piper Laurie -- that really just look like they want to be somewhere else. Segments of the movie are just kind of dull, and Pino Donaggio's score just doesn't seem to fit what's going on the screen.

Yet I have a soft spot for Trauma. Certain scenes are executed rather well, and there are a few Hitchcockian moments that really do have quite a bit of tensity to them. As a whole, if you can sit through the slower scenes, I would say this film is better than Two Evil Eyes. 

And much as the actors phone in scenes here, Asia Argento shows quite a bit of promise.

1. Inferno
2. Suspiria
3. Deep Red
4. Tenebre
5. Opera
6. Four Flies on Grey Velvet
7. The Cat o’Nine Tails
8. The Bird with the Crystal Plumage
9. Phenomena
10. Trauma
11. Two Evil Eyes

Next up: The Stendhal Syndrome.

I still need an old fashioned computer, as it goes with what I do for a living, but my god, for the average person there seems to be little reason to still use one. The e-mail, web, and even media experience is for most people better on the iPad than on a regular computer. Some might claim the device can only be used for consumption, but hook a dock and wireless keyboard up, and you can easily use an app like Pages ($9.99) to replace Word. It might not be quite as full featured, but how many of Word's features do you really use?

It goes further... Reading RSS feeds in Reeder is a joy. Echofon is the best Twitter client I've used on any platform. So on and so forth. Should Panic ever decide to release a version of Coda, then I don't see why I couldn't do a good chunk of web work on the iPad.

I always take Steve Jobs' hyperbole as metaphors for something slightly lesser than what it sounds like he's saying, but seriously... This thing might just be magical!

The remake of Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge was released just the other day, and it's a nostalgia trip. Low resolution graphics has been switched to HD; MIDI music is fully digital, recorded by live musicians; there are voice actors... And so on and so forth.

Most impressive is that they've managed to retain the feel of the original, which is no small task. LeChuck's Revenge could be described as Lynchian, having a decidedly melancholy dream logic feel mixed with excellent humor. And an ending that even now, eighteen years after the original release, is heatedly debated on the Internet's seedier sides. (Aka video gaming sites.)

Anyway. I consider the original game to be a personal favorite -- and as we all know, if it's a personal favorite to me, it should be to you too! -- and the remake is well worth the $10. It's available for PC, Mac, Xbox Live Arcade, PS3, iPad and iPod. You should probably just grab it now.

This is Telltale's first pilot, meaning more games in the series will be released if this episode succeeds. I can't see why it wouldn't, as this is a very fun and intriguing game. It takes the storytelling methods Telltale is known for, this time basing the game on Graham Annable's Grickle, and marries it with a more traditional puzzle game format.

The story is, not surprisingly (if you're familiar with Grickle), strange. Nelson Tethers is FBI's only puzzle agent, and he is sent to Scoggins to solve a mystery around an eraser factory. It's a pretty comical setup, and while the game is oddly funny, it is also eerie. Think Twin Peaks or Fargo, and you get the gist of the tone.

Tethers move around town (filled with "Nordic folklore"), interacting with its inhabitants while solving puzzles. The puzzles could be classified as "casual" and I'm not particularly good at them. But they're fun. One includes looking at the negative of a picture, compare it with the actual scene, and figure out which gnome is missing. That gives you an idea of the simplicity of it. (Again, unless you're like me, as I suck.) You can take hints, but that will add to the taxpayers' expenses, as will every wrong guess you make. The more the taxpayers have to pay, the lower your score will be.

I've just gotten through the earlier stages of the episode (which is about 3-4 hours long from what I understand) and I like what I've seen so far. The art direction is state of the art and the plot is great. Funny and eerie; a good combination. The music is also awesome.

You can pick up a digital download from the Telltale Store, which (for now) also gives you 50% off any other item in your cart. Bargain! Go get it, for PC, Mac, iPhone, iPad or WiiWare.

Fulci is an odd one. Some of his earlier films had blatant political bends, often criticizing the Catholic church. Don't Torture a Duckling is a good example. As he started moving over to more "straight" horror movies his eye fetish (I kid you not) became more pronounced, and movie nerds will forever debate if Fulci created surreal masterpieces or patched together stories that made little sense. Tarantino, as it stands, is a huge fan of the man, and he also owns the American distribution rights to many of his pictures.

His Death Trilogy is as strange as the man himself. The two first entries, City of the Living Dead and The Beyond, are definitely very similar in tone and story, while the third movie, The House by the Cemetery, has little to do with the rest of the trilogy. (As in there are no gates of hell in the movie.) As for the movies...

City of the Living Dead

A priest commits suicide in a graveyard, and the gates of hell slowly starts opening. Serious stuff. A psychic, played by the underrated Catriona MacColl, joins a journalist in finding the town where it happened to close the gates. Nobody has heard of the town (which the psychic saw in a vision) and it's not marked on any maps. This even though it's located about a stone's throw from NYC. Go figure.

As far as the living dead walking the earth movies go, this is quite an interesting take on the formula. Sure, the movie doesn't follow conventional logic, but I, for one, enjoy the crazy storyline. While it's not the most vividly colored movie, there is some excellent camera work throughout, and Fabio Frizzi's Goblin-esqu score is memorable.

Oh, and as for the nonsensical ending... Apparently the editor had spilled coffee on a scene that would have helped explained what happened and Fulci didn't have the funds to refilm it. Whoops! But yes, let's just chalk that down as "surreal."

The Beyond

We move from NYC to New Orleans in what many consider to be Fulci's best movie. The plot is largely the same as its predecessor: gates of hell opened, and a hotel owner -- Catriona MacColl, not a psychic this time -- has to close it.

The plot this time around is a whole lot less messy, and the movie truly can be classified as "surreal." This isn't a movie for everyone, but if you enjoy the works of Lovecraft and think dream logic is a-OK, you will probably be appropriately creeped out by The Beyond. Again it's wonderfully shot, and the colors have a lot more depth to it than City of the Living Dead. I'd also rank the ending as one of the eeriest I've seen.

The House by the Cemetery

OK, so it has nothing to do with the previous two movies, other than it once again features Catriona MacColl, but this is an excellent Frankenstein meets surreal ghost story movie. There are strange little details throughout -- why does everybody think they've seen Dr Boyle before, in a town that he has never visited -- and they're frustratingly not explained. And I mean that as a compliment.

So while there are no gates (just a basement door) or hell to be seen in this movie, it's a fun little horror flick with a haunted house and creepy kids. And there's a drinking game too!

In the end only Argento and George Romero contributed to the project that consisted of "The Facts in the Case of Mr. Valdemar" (Romero) and "The Black Cat" (Argento). I'll let Romero fans defend his episode which, while not awful, is not very Poe-like.

"The Black Cat" stays truer to the source material and is nicely enough filmed. Keitel is also quite good in the leading role. In the end, though, it's hard to ignore that the movie is a bit dull. There are some creative murders modeled after various Poe stories, so you can certainly play "spot the reference," but most everything here goes on autopilot.

I suppose it comes down to the source material in one way. The original story is not particularly long, and they needed to pad it out to make it last 60 minutes. Savini, if nothing else, provides some good special effects.

In the end the whole thing is just forgettable, and Two Evil Eyes is one of the few Argento (or, indeed, Romero) movies I have little interest in re-watching. It's worth a Netflix rental, but little more.

1. Inferno
2. Suspiria
3. Deep Red
4. Tenebre
5. Opera
6. Four Flies on Grey Velvet
7. The Cat o’Nine Tails
8. The Bird with the Crystal Plumage
9. Phenomena
10. Two Evil Eyes